My Mood
Lots of things going on in my head. Trying to sort them all out. I was once told my head is a bad place to venture into alone...and here I am. Others have input, but decisions are ultimately mine. So much to think about and consider; options to weigh.
I've been offered a job. Actually, I've known about the position for a couple of months but hadn't put a whole lot of thought into it until I got the phone call last Thursday telling me that "while I was overqualified for the position, it could 'grow into something more', and would I please consider it."
I had my interview yesterday.
It went well, I guess. It's not anything super glamorous nor does it pay very well. Secretaries aren't very well respected or paid. The job it "could develop into" is the Admissions Coordinator. I'll be assisting the current coordinator as part of my duties. I've done it before, so it's not a stretch. Hell, I've done most everything when it comes to schools. *chuckle*
I'm more interested in the "could be" position than the front-desk secretarial position, so that is why I'm leaning towards accepting the job...in addition to the fact that it will pay for my children's tuition and leave me with some lagniappe at the end of the month.
I've homeschooled for so long and before that had a foot on the ground floor of our school, that I'm not sure how I'll enjoy actually working for someone else who isn't exactly on "my" page. The older boys are at a point now where they need to be in a school enviroment. I know my limitations. #1Son attended this year as a Freshman and did very well. SweetSon is on his heels and needs more than I am capable of giving when it comes to maths and sciences. LilGuy is just starting and I actually wish I were able to stay home with him and teach him the way I did the other two...I just don't see how it can happen, though. Balancing finances SUCK! Hubby busts his booty to provide for us at this point. There're not enough hours in the day for him to do more and besides that, I'd never ask him to. He's supported my homeschooling and always told me working was my choice.
The kids are excited about the possibility of going to school, so I guess that's a good thing.
I worry though (as in making myself sick with it). I think part of it is that I have to relinquish control to people I don't necessarily know well or in some cases, at all. These other people will be putting things in my children's minds that I haven't preapproved, and while I know that I can't protect or monitor things forever, I just always wanted to maintain a level of control for longer than 4 years. It's just Lil Guy I really worry about. He's still such a sponge when it comes to character and behaviour and general make-up. Argh. I don't really have a problem with the 13 yr old going to school. He is extremely intelligent, intuitive, and discerning. The 16 yr old has been in the "big pond" now for a year and he's doing well.
I just want to do my best at the primary job I've been given. I want to be a good mom.
I'll figure it out, I'm sure. I can only hope I make the right/best decision. :)
**Listening to "Wastelands" by The Floating Men**
Dude! I, like, HIGHLY recommend weekend trips on great-weathered weekends!
Now that I've got that out of the way...
We have taken lots of trips, but I have to tell ya. That was probably one of the best ever.
- The weather was perfect--hot, but a nice breeze made it comfortable in the shade.
- The water wasn't too cool cuz the lake is fairly shallow.
- They spray the park, so there were NO MOSQUITOS.
- And they evidently poison the ants, too, cuz I tell ya, I went all through that park and only saw two little bitty ant piles. That's it. And that's amazing.
- It rained at home while we were gone and my plants grew about 5 inches!
- And I got to pick 7 (count them!) cherry tomatoes!! And there's LOTS more on the bush. Heh.
I got some amazing pictures and just have to share some! :)
Stuff Portrait Friday!
This weeks SPF, as brought to you by the lovely Kristine,
is sort of based on Auschwitz.
1. Your suitcase/s or travel bag.
2. Your ground.
3. Something you are powerless to.
Okay, so this isn't my suitcase, but it's big enough to be considered a carryon. I could probably get an entire outfit, a bottle of water and a book in here. It's my purse for the summer, though.
Summer purses must be big enough to carry the kitchen sink in. That's a rule in the South.
I think.
My ground. This was an accidental pic. I completely missed my subject (Lil Guy on the rope swing) and got this awesome abstract shot of the shadows of the tree branches
on the ground. Not too bad in B&W, too.
Something I'm powerless to. Age.
I turned 40 this year. For the most part I don't have a problem with it. I love being the age I am. I love being able to look back and realize what an idiot I was, and wish I could've stopped myself from making some kickass mistakes along the way. On the other hand, I'm the person I am today because of the good and the bad.
*shrug*
Age?
Bleck.
It's just a number.
Oy. Still have laundry to do and packing to do and my Mom is coming for lunch tomorrow and I need to run to the grocery store one last time (tomorrow) and I'm exhausted NOW. I just want to go to bed. LOL Instead, I just spent the last 30 minutes here fooling with this. *shaking my head* This is "my" time.
We're leaving on Saturday to go up North (3 hours) for the long weekend. We'll spend some time with family and spend some time at a State Park up there. It's supposed to be a nice weekend. H O T, but nice. Sunscreen, hats, and swimtrunks are in order, I do believe. And oh yeah: side-of-the-road-watermelon! YUM.
Hope y'all have great Memorial Day weekends!
Happy Trails~
"If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?"
That line from "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down seemed appropriate since I would be talking about 13 things I like about Summer (with children). *grin*
 |
| Thirteen Things I like about SUMMER |
1. I love not waking up to an alarm.
2. I still get up early, because I like to drink my first cup of coffee outside on my patio and listen to morning sounds (without the stress of having to go in before I'm ready).
3. I really like sitting outside watching my Lil Guy splash around in his pool.
4. I have great memories of summers at my Grandparent's farm
and get very misty thinking about them.
5. I still think the best vacations are taken during summer.
6. My family has taken some GREAT vacations during summer.
7. I think kids look healthiest (regardless of studies and skin cancer risks) with a tan.
8. I do enforce the "sunscreen rule" now (because of skin cancer risks),
but my guys still get nice tans.
9. I love the Summer Reading Program at the Public Library and
the incentives they give the children for reading.
10. I love the smell of chlorine and swimming lessons...
and the memories they evoke.
11. I love the sound of a ball and bat making the connect at
Little League games.
12. I love spearamint sno-cones.
13. I have a love/hate relationship with the big, fat raindrops
that only come with summer storms.
Blogger is being a poo-poo head, so I can't upload the other pics at the moment.
I'll try again later....*eye roll*
Happy Trails~
Once upon a time...
...my oldest son used to read (for practice) to his little brother...
circa 1996
A History Lesson (sorta) WBW style
TKW has decided that "we" need to once again dig thru our old photos and come up with something embarrassing...something like "anyone in a red, white and blue one-piece terry sunsuit with a bowl cut..." Unfortunately (for her, because she can't point and get a good laugh) and fortunately for me, none of those particular photos are in my possession. Heh. Instead I'll bring to you the first part of our "assignment": It's history! Looking for shots of you at a historical site or monument...
Yep.
That, I can do. Sorta.
So. Here are my brother and me at Magic Kingdom. Circa 1975
There are lots of historical vingettes at Magic Kingdom. In fact, I had the best bowl of clam chowder
ever at a shoppe in Olde Towne there. So this counts. Trust me. :)
Are you diggin' that floppy sun hat? How bout the way I'm trying to stick out my chest and it ends up looking like I'm throwing out
my back? OR How bout my bro's Kook-aid T? Man, we saved
Kool-aid packs forEVER to get those!
Okay, real history comes into play here.
Here we are at Thomas Edison's summer home in Fort Meyers. Dang, we were cute.
No bowl cuts, but I've got that "Chinese girl" thing going on with my hair.
Thought I'd throw this in to honor the "I love my Texas" bloggers. Heh. We were on our way to Houston, via Beaumont and my Aunt Janie's, to check out Astroworld and then on to Galveston.
Dang. We did some traveling when I was younger. No wonder I get itchy when I'm home too long.
And here we are at Cypremort Point (that's on Vermillion Bay in Louisiana, in case ya didn't know). This isn't a landmark or anything, but I just thought I'd throw in a pic that captures the true sass in me. LOL Who knows what I was thinking...
You notice a theme? My parents made sure no favoritism was shown. We were in every picture
together after he was born! Parents can be so weird. LOL
Happy Trails~
A Rambling, Whiny Motha...
I just don't understand why some people go into the teaching profession if they're not cut out to be a teacher. I mean for crying out loud, it's not like the paycheck is a bigass draw!
My son's Algebra teacher is a nice person. She's got a bubbly, evervescent personality. It's not the type of person I'm drawn to, but hey, some people like it and think she's the next best thing since sliced, white bread. But what people DO NOT understand is that personality does NOT make a good teacher.
Maybe I spent too many years homeschooling, but I know my kid. I know his learning style. I know how not to teach him and I know what works best for him. And I have had to sit here all year long and listen to him talk about this teacher and how she does things (wrong). I've spoken with her on several occasions. I've tried to help him by re-explaining the lesson when he comes home, but alas, somewhere around Christmas we surpassed my grasp of Algebra. I even purchased the Teacher's Editions hoping I would be able to "cheat" by using the same book his teacher had, but it might as well have been written in Russian. Latin,I can read. Algebra, I can't. WTF
My son doesn't fit into the classical mold of learning disabled, so he isn't eligible for teaching "helps". He does really well in all other subjects. HE. JUST. DOESN'T. GET. ALGEBRA. After each conference I've had with the teacher, she's buckled down and given a fine example of someone who truly cares about my son and his ability to pass or fail, but after a week or so, she slips off...And #1Son isn't the type of person to want to draw a lot of attention to himself, so he just kinda lets things slip until he has to bring home a test to be signed(because he failed). Then I freak out and call the teacher (again) and then things are better for a couple of weeks...etc. I realize that #1Son has some personal responsibility when it comes to studying and asking for help, but for cryin' out loud!
What does it take to make a point with the teacher? There are only 11 students in this class. It's not like she's trying to divide her time between 25+ students. Arrrrggghhhh.
I had yet another conversation with The Teacher this morning. Yet again, I hung up feeling frustrated and impotent. It's too late for this year. If he passes, it will be by the skin of his teeth...and even then, does he deserve it? He'll just go into Algebra II with a shaky foundation and set himself up for more heartache and possible failure. I'm considering sending him to summer school even is he does squeak by...just for review, if nothing else. He'll hate me. I'm quite sure I'll "ruin his social life" and set him up to be "ragged" all summer, but somehow, I don't think his future patients/clients/voters will care that he had to take summer school after his Freshman year in highschool...
Decisions, decisions, decisions...Where's that damn handbook on childrearing?
The War
A pink glow illuminates the horizon. White tendrils trail across
the amber glow, forming peaks and valleys; waves cresting and crashing over the
treetops. The darkened room is shot with shards of the tinted light.
A spark glimmers in the eye of the beholder--me. A new day has dawned and
with it comes another foray into the eternal battle.
I resolutely straighten my shoulders and turn to focus my attentions upon
the members of the opposing army. Like rows of wheat blowing in the wind,
the endless stream crosses my line of vision. Armed with my weapons, I
begin my attack against my eternal foe--dust.
What is it with me and dust? Every home I've ever lived in has been inundated with the STUFF. I used to think the abnormal amounts were caused by the air conditioner intakes being so close to the washer/dryer area, but that isn't the case in this house. I swear, I can dust in the morning and by nightfall, you won't even be able to tell I dusted at all. Therefore, I dust (almost) every surface daily. It. is. making. me. nuts.
I go to other people's homes, and check their dust collections. I look beyond the typical, obvious surfaces. I check baseboards and window sills. I am the common "white glove-er". Oh, I do explain my methods, so don't worry, should I ever arrive at your home. I am always curious, though, because most other people I know (and visit) do NOT have the same issues with dust that I do. It is really discouraging and disgusting--discouraging because I feel like it's an endless FRUITLESS battle; disgusting because, have you ever SEEN what lives inside a clump of dust?? Bleck.
Oh well. Break-time is over. Back to my battle. Have a happy, dust-free day. :)
Inside the head of a 4.5 yr old...
The answers to today's Sunday Six questions are brought to you by my Lil Guy--age 4.5 yrs. :)
1. When you see Mommy or Daddy on the computer, what are they doing?
"Drawing."
2. How does a telephone work?
"It do like this...(he makes beeping noises and acts like he's pressing buttons on a phone in his hand) and you talk to your friend."
3. When you play a game at an arcade (might need to expand and explain this one for them) what happens to the coin you use to start the game?
"Um, it's for the car gas."
4. How does milk stay cold?
"Because it lives at Walmart and then we bring it home."
5. What makes the car move?
"I dunno, I'm a little kid."
6. How does a radio work?
"You listen to it on your ears and you push the buttons."
Heaven's Gate
I took this picture of the field right behind the cemetary this morning. It was so cool! The clouds parted and left an opening that the sun shone through and sent a beam of light to the ground. It was wicked cool but you couldn't SEE it in the original photo. So...I played around with it some and came up with this. It's not exactly what I saw, but it's a lot closer than what I got!
I've titled it: Heaven's Gate. I thought that was appropriate since I was at the cemetary. :)
Stuff Portrait Friday
For THIS week, May 19, 2006, the lovely Kristine has taken inspiration from Wave of Modulation. Our task was to post pictures of:
1. Something Discarded
2. Lay down on the ground and find something ugly and make it beautiful.
3. Take a picture in the style of the person that inspires you.
I may not have adhered to the "rules" as well as I could have, but I took my inspiration for pictures this week during my visit with Jacob. So without further ado:
Something discarded
Laying on the ground to find something ugly and make it beautiful
this wasn't necessarily ugly...but is interesting
Something in the style of a person who inspires me.
The pastoral style of Monet.
LOL I know this is a photograph rather than a painting, but it's the "style" that counts!
Let me know if you played!
Happy Trails~
Thursday Thirteen
I'm thinking I got it straight now.... Smoochies to Cheeky!
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Since I've only recently started blogging, I thought I'd share thirteen things you don't know about me. :)
1. I love to travel.
2. I confused gratefulness and security with love once.
3. I never repaid my Daddy for a loan and I feel guilty about it now that he's gone.
4. I used to want a daughter really badly, but am glad I don't have one now.
5. I stole a pack of ButterRum Lifesavers when I was 7 and didn't even like them.
6. I took 2 Darvon out of my aunt's medicine cabinet once because one of my friends told me
they were "good"...I never took them though, because I was afraid of what they'd do to me.
7. My fear of drugs ended when I got to high school.
8. I have a distinct memory of something that I remember happening when I was three years
old, but every person involved swears it never happened.
9. I have information right now on someone that could put them away for several years.
10. I love my kids to bits, but am still not that excited about being a mom.
11. I miss my Daddy terribly and think about him at least once a day. He's been gone 5 years.
12. I am a vault when it comes to secrets.
13. My two favorite places to be are near water and in the mountains. I've managed to combine
them with my love of waterfalls. :)
Domke Falls at
Lake Chelan, WA
July 2003
Happy Trails~
Blatant Begging
I need help figuring out this insane blogging thing. For the life of me, I can't figure out how I'm supposed to "add" people to a link list on the margin. I thought I followed the rules, but for whatever reason, I'm still not able to do it. Therefore, I'm asking for help. ...guess the blonde highlights are catching up with me...(No offense to the truly blondes who may be able to help me!) *cheesy grin* Heh.
IF you're willing to work with me (I really am a quick learner), let me know. tyvm.
***listening to "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down...great bedtime music, eh? LOL***
You know, none of us should be compartmentalized. I think we all have many facets that comprise the person we present to the world. Sometimes, there are parts of us that we don't share with the "average joe." (Of course there are exceptions to every rule, so I'm not going to make sweeping generalizations here.) Even in my real life, there are people who know nothing about what goes on in my head. It would just complicate relationships and, quite honestly, bore them. The beauty of the internet, though, allows me to be boring and allows you to "walk away" without offending me. :) Clicking the "x" works well. LOL Too bad in real life, there are no "x's". OMG I'm rambling again. Sometimes I need to smack myself! {Insert "blah, blah, blah"}
Back on point:
My writings are something that I don't generally share with "people". Even my hubby has only seen a very few of them. He wasn't interested. He didn't "get" them. And I suppose that's like a lot of things in life. If people don't "get" it, they don't choose to surround themselves with it. They are mostly just for me, but sometimes, I'll let a few in for a quick peek. Today, I'm taking a leap of faith and choosing to share a rare few. I'm including the link to one of my webpages. This is a compilation of some of mine and some of my favorites. Read if you choose. Click the "x" if you choose not to. My guard is up. :)
May you all have wonderful days.
Happy Trails~
TEENAGE BOYS! UGH!
I was just going to rant about teenagers in general, but my feelings are specific to boys, so...I can only write (rant) about what I know.
I have a sixteen-year-old-first-born-son. Do I hear any sympathetic groans? Argh.
I'm a chick. I know about chick things. I was never a boy. I don't know about boy things.
So why, oh why, did I get THREE boys? I have learned more about boys and their inner workings in the last sixteen years thanI really needed to know. No. Really. I could have lived a full and complete life without knowing some of the things I know.
(Wait. That's a different rant. Back to the original one...)
Why, did my BOYS have to have snippets of my personality?
Why did my sixteen year old have to be brain dead in Math--just like his mother?
Why did he have to struggle with his own sense of self--just like his mother?
Why did he have to be so hard-headed and willful when it comes to authority, yet be so easily swayed by his peers? *mumbling*justlikehismotherusedtobe
Why can't I, with all my 40 yr old wisdom, help him? It's probably because I have all that wisdom that I'm unable to help him, huh? Sigh.
He is such an incredibly good kid. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't sneak out. He loves me. He is willing to help me on the drop of a dime. He is empathetic and tender-hearted. He loves his little brother (the youngest one (the middle one is target practice so far)).
He is working on creating a fairly good work ethic (as long as there is money involved).
But he is one of the MOST lazy, irresponsible people I know (when it comes to doing things he doesn't like) and that makes me INSANE.
His room is a wreck. He can't remember to put the cap on the toothpaste. He can't remember to put the clothes that is HUNG AND FOLDED away. He can't remember to take the ice packs out of his lunch box. He can't remember to remove his glass off the table when he's done. He can't remember to throw the toilet paper core away when it's empty. He can't remember to hang the damp towel after his shower OR close the shower curtain. Sigh. And he can't remember to PAY ATTENTION in Algebra class or ask the teacher questions...
He has struggled with Algebra all year long. We knew he would. It's in his genes. I have tried really hard not to curse him by sharing all my struggles, but when he is banging his head against the table, tears of frustration brimming from his eyes...it's hard not to tell him a story or two to make him feel not so alone.
I have given him every idea I can come up with to help him study. I have sat with him until bedtime trying to re-explain things he didn't "get" in class. I have had conferences with his teacher, I have restricted his phone and computer use during the school week, he has been grounded on weekends because he "forgot" he had tests and failed to study...I feel like I have done everything I can to help him, yet HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT.
He doesn't get the fact that it's NOT MY JOB to pass Algebra. It's HIS JOB. He thinks, somehow, if he fails, he is going to be able to talk his way out of it. He thinks he's going to be able to somehow skip summer school or do something for enough extra points to give him a passing grade. He just doesn't get it. It's not about scamming your way out of it, but somehow, he's gotten the mentality that that's a possibility. And I don't know where.
We don't bargain. You play; you pay. I have taught him from the time he was a little boy that there are consequences in life--Sometimes they're pleasant; sometimes they're not. I keep telling him that I am not paying for summer school. I paid his tuition every month. I am not paying for him to re-take a class that he didn't try his hardest to pass.
That's why I'm so frustrated with him. I know he didn't try his hardest. It's not just about him failing or struggling. I understand those concepts. Sometimes that just happens. But he didn't do absolutely everything possible to help himself, and because of that, I am disappointed and frustrated...and angry.
He's got finals starting next Wednesday. I'm still trying to make sure he studies every night (although I think that should be his responsibility) and I can only pray he passes the final with at least a B. Otherwise, he will be taking summer school...
He thinks he looks "cool" in this pic. *eye roll* Whatevah. LOL
Kids. They'll break your heart a million times and no matter what they say or how sorry they are, they'll do it again a million more. And we let them.
Happy Trails~
Do ya think...
when I'm old (over 50) that I'll quit enjoying loud music? I know it doesn't have to be loud to enjoy it, but sometimes, I just LIKE listening to it REALLY LOUD. hmmph.
I've enjoyed music my whole life, in fact, I've blogged about it early on, here. I just don't understand people who hear it and instantly think/say "turn it down". Why? It's okay to turn up the television to sound-barrier-breaking-decibels, but it's not okay to turn up music?
There are so many different styles: classical, old school rock, rock 'n' roll, heavy metal, pop, country, classic country, rap, hiphop... There has to be ONE that you enjoy and appreciate.
Even the music I choose not to listen to, I can appreciate because it was someone's idea/theme/work. Shoot, I even appreciate art that I don't "like" for the pure sense of style, freedom of expression, and thought that goes into it. I like discovering where one's perspective and inspiration are. *shrug*
Oh well. Maybe I'll go deaf and then no one will have to worry about what I do and don't listen to.
****************************************************
I tried a new recipe tonight. It was so easy and sounded yummy. It's called Chicken Casserole.
Real inspired name, huh? LOL It's not the healthiest meal, but there are ways you could reduce some of the fat and calories. I didn't. LOL But you can.
Ingredients:
4 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cup sour cream
2 racks Ritz crackers, crushed
1 stick butter, melted
Directions:
Boil 4 large chicken breasts about 40 minutes.
Let chicken cool about 5 minutes.
Shred the chicken and place in a large bowl.
Stir in one can of Cream of Mushroom soup (can be reduced fat/sodium) and 1 cup sour cream (can be low fat). Add pepper, basil and garlic powder to taste. Mix thoroughly.
Place in a greased 9"x13" glass casserole dish.
Crush 2 racks of Ritz crackers in a Ziploc bag. Pour in melted butter and mix. Spread evenly over chicken mixture.
Bake for 30 minutes or til bubbly.
Serve with green salad or broccoli or green beans. (I chose steamed broccoli flowerets tonight.)
Serves a family 2 adults, 2 ha'f grown boys, and one 4 year old nicely. :)
Happy Trails~
Just a lil giggle
This is one of those "funny, but true" email forwards that you've probably all seen a million times...but it's so great, ya just can't help laughing each time you read it.
THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYNconfirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discardonly the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. ______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until youcan go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they needit or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complainabout the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You exercise with the baby on the floor.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave anumber where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. ______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! ______________________________________________________
Enjoy!
My Three Sons...
Honoring Mom
We're "throwin a Q" tonight in honor of Mother's Day. FYI, that's Southern/Cajun slang for "we're gilling/barbqueing burgers n chicken". :) It's also Sweet Son #2's 13th birthday! :)
My bro and SIL and daughter are gonna be here. My kids are totally pumped. They love it when Uncle Doug comes over. Not sure why. I mean...he's NOT all that. LOL I grew up with him, though, so that probably skews my impression some. He CAN BE fun, but that's all I'll admit to. heehee
I've been busily doing my regular Saturday thing with an eye out for keeping things in order once I've finished with them so things aren't a total wreck before they come. I refuse to spic n span my house for family, dammit! I mean, it's not a pigsty to begin with, but some people (who shall remain nameless) freak themselves out when any company comes over, but especially family. What's the point? They're your family? Do you really NEED to try to impress them? Don't you think they're pretty aware of your housekeeping abilities? You DID grow up in the same house, right?? *shakes head* I guess it may be part of getting older. Some things just aren't that big a deal anymore. Don't get me wrong. I make things nice; cook good, esthetically pleasing meals/desserts; have my home decorated nicely; keep the house clean and attempt to keep the clutter down to below eye level (giggling). I just am not going to make myself nuts about the "impression" I make. Think what you will about me, my house, my children, my clothes, my decorating tastes. I am not here to please you (anymore). I think I may be finally growing up. :)
Oy. That turned into quite the rant. Hmmm...Think I'm feeling a lil guilt? Hmmph. Dunno. Gonna have to analyze that when I have more time. But for now, I'm going to toss a couple of photos of my Mom up here cuz I want y'all to see the woman who is partly responsible for my being here. And she's largely responsible for helping me become the woman I am.
Wow! All I can say.
Here's Mom and Daddy on their wedding day.
November 27, 1964
Aren't they awesome?
Here is one of my favorite memories...
At my grandparent's farm...
Mom was always so relaxed when we "went home" for the summer.
And here is a rare pic of Mommy and Me :) Easter 2006
Enjoy your Mother's Day.
Happy Trails~
Imma Dork
I am the warning label that belongs on scissors informing people of the hazards of irresponsible uses.
**Warning: Use of this product while not looking can result in serious injuries** *eye roll*
Yep, I was cutting open a package (One of those pre-pressed plastic packages that you need NASA to give instructions for opening.) and telling my hubby a story, and I only looked away for an instant, but it was at that moment the package chose to "give way" and the pressure I'd been exerting to open the package was immediately applied to the hand I was holding said package in. OMG FUCK.SHIT.DAMN. Say that with me. It feels so much better if said really loudly, too.
My sweet son #2 compared the booboo (horrible, lacerative puncture wound) to something he saw on CSI, but I'm here to tell you it wasn't really THAT bad. It hurt that bad, though. SHIT. And of course, it didn't want to quit bleeding, so there's been a bit of overkill involved in the bandaging of it.
Here is my lil guy showing concern for me: 
Here he is pointing out the injury (just in case you miss the bandage-job my hubby did on it):
And HERE IS THE OFFENDING ITEM:
No comments about the manicure-in-need hand, eh?
I was planning on doing that this afternoon...
Going rest up a bit...being injured and loss of blood and all...I think it calls for a lil rest. Heh.
Over and out
Rude People
I HATE CHAT PROGRAMS!
Okay, wait. I don't hate chat programs; I hate the rudeness of people that use them. Wait. I just hate rude people. There, that's better.
You know the drill:
You're chatting along in conversation. There's a nice give and take to the chat when suddenly the other person doesn't respond in the time frame that you've become used to. During the lull, you presume they have started chatting with another person, are checking their mail, or have gotten distracted by a "real time" situation. It's no big deal. You occupy yourself with something else, wait a couple of minutes for them to get back to you and if they don't, you ask if they're still there (because even with cable connections, there are still lots of reasons a person gets booted with no warning).
BUT, before your self-imposed-time-limit-for-waiting-for-their-reply has expired, they ask YOU what you're doing. When you tell them, they just slam off. Initially you're not that concerned. Like I said, people still get locked up/booted offline suddenly. Then, when they come back online shortly afterwards and you ask what happened and are BLASTED because they felt that YOU were IGNORING THEM...oh my God!
That, my friends, is like someone just walking away from you during a face-to-face conversation because you observed a car driving down the street during a lull in the conversation. It's like hanging up the phone on someone. IT IS SO RUDE! And of course, it's made worse by the "slamming door" sound that accompanies the person signing offline. But still--even if there was no sound at all, it is extremely rude to simply end a conversation suddenly like that because you got your nose bent out of joint! WTF
What happened to common courtesy? What happened to benefit of the doubt? What happened to being polite? Crap. The conveniences of modern technology were supposed to make life easier not add fuel to the fire of our insanity. I can be rude. I know this about myself. *cheesy grin* But I use my rudeness for people like the lady trying to check out in the express lane at Walmart for 10 items or less with 40 items in her basket. (I know this because I counted.)
"Excuse me Ma'am? Did you realize this line was for 10 items or
less? You have at least 40 in your basket. Yes, I realize you're in
a hurry and this is the shortest line, but there are other people who are
obeying the rules set out by this establishment and if you clog this up, then the point of having these types of express lines is moot and no one will be able to
get out of here any faster. *sweet smile*
That is known as saccharine rudeness...we're famous for it here in the South. *wink*
{aside} BTW, did you know that 20 items can look like a lot more? I know this because I've checked out in that line with exactly 20 and it looked like a LOT of stuff. Even I, the line item Nazi, was concerned!{end aside} My rudeness is beside the point here, though. This is about OTHER people. (It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to, rant if I want to...)
Speaking of other people's rudeness...
What about the person in line who is on her cell phone and walks up to the counter and tells the register person to HOLD ON? I just want to smack them. I worked retail, but thank God there were no cell phones because I'm not sure if I could've restrained myself from walking away from the person who told ME to HOLD ON while they chatted on the phone at MY register! I have noticed, now, that in some places of business (post office and doctor's office) there are signs that tell you to either turn off the cell phone or hang up before approaching the window. Duh. I even witnessed the lady behind the counter at the post office ignore a young woman of non-European descent (not racial profiling here, nope, no way, not me) who walked up to her window on the phone. The postal lady just motioned for the next person in line (me..heh.)to come up to the counter right past the girl. The stunned look on the young girl's face was quite rewarding, albeit
HER comment about rude people just about sent me over the edge. Argh. The situation was solved to my satisfaction when I refused to acknowledge her existence and she walked back into the rear of the line. :)
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling much better. LOL
May you all have awesome days!
Morning Mist
Happy Trails~
A lil of this and a lil of that...
GOOD GRIEF! I think I've been swallowed alive by my family! (I think they missed me *wink*)
Lemme tell ya...I am so incredibly thankful that I was able to get away last weekend. Since I got home Sunday, I haven't had time to sit down. "And what have I been doing", you ask? "I have no idea", is my reply. LOL All I know is that since I got back to town, I haven't stopped doing one thing or another. *shrug* Such is the life of a mother, eh? lol
The trip was awesome. Flawless weather; good company; Grey Goose and cranberry juice; shopping; blackout drapes and no alarms; jacuzzi tub; shopping; free breakfast bar; Cheesecake Factory; shopping...you get the picture. *big ole grin*
Now that my little break from reality is over, though, I have some serious thinking to do.
I've been offered a job. I am so torn about what to do. My husband is supportive of "whatever" I do. It doesn't matter to him one way or another if I stay home or go to work.
On one hand, it would help us financially. On the other hand, I'd have to put my youngest (4 yr old) in school and I'm not certain he's ready for that.
Developmentally, his speech just isn't where it should be. We had him tested last year and began speech therapy, but because of an initial "miscommunication" between the provider and my insurance company, we've had to discontinue his therapy (and we now owe the provider a LOT of money). I'm trying to work "within the system", but because we're not poor and have private insurance (that just doesn't pay for speech therapy), things aren't going very well. I'm anxious about throwing him into the deep end, ie: kids can be so cruel. I think it would be beneficial to him to be around other children his age (he's very social) because it would force him to speak more clearly without a family member there to always interpret for him, but I worry about that point when the teacher can't understand what he's saying and he gets frustrated and there's no one to help him who cares. Other than his speech, he's at or above developmental levels for his age, so I know he would do well in school. It's just this crazy speech problem. His therapist said like twins who create a language they speak only to one another, my lil guy has developed a language he alone understands and while he has a complete understanding of what we say, he simply chooses to use his own (sign of genius, I hear...LOL). Unfortunately, my lil guy has no twin to understand what he's saying when he chooses to go off yammering in his own personal language. LOL So us common folk are left to "figure out" what he is saying, and then try to train him to say and use the correct English words for what he means. Oy vey!
I just don't know what to do...My decision isn't necessary til the end of June, but I don't know if I will be able to go through this whole decision-making process that long. lol I'm nuts now!
On a different note: My gardens are rockin'!! It rained here every day I was gone, so my flowers and plants got the good water. When I drove up, it looked like they'd grown 3 inches. My cherry tomato plant is covered with babies! And I've got a Creole 'mater set now too! And my pepper plant is in full flower! And my sunflowers are now about 5" tall! (I know that probably doesn't sound that impressive, but I planted them from seeds and I'm just so tickled they're up. LOL) And my herbs all need to be cut! (Note to self: go back and read about drying herbs) And, and, and...
Oh yeah! And I finished planting the front bed! I'll have to get some pictures in here. I'd do it now, but I'm thinking pre-dawn just isn't the best time for picture takin'. *wink*
...think I'll go plan my Home Ec class for Friday while the house is still quiet.
May each of you have a beautiful day :)
Sunset at Johnson's Beach
Perdido Key, Florida
August 2002
Happy Trails~
Leavin' On A Jet Plane...
Yay! Whoopee! Woohoo! I'm leaving tomorrow for FOUR DAYS to go on an ALL GIRLS weekend!! YESSSSSSS!
Now before any self-righteous people out there start hounding me about "deserting my family" to go "traipsing all over the country", let me just stop ya right there. *sweet smile* This trip has the full support of my hubby and children. While they will miss me (I think they'll be doing cartwheels, personally), they ALL understand this isn't a desire; it is a necessity for me.
When I came home full-time and began homeschooling 8 years ago, I was full of romantic visions of my lil sugar plums sitting around the kitchen table smiling sweetly, raising their hands to ask questions or be excused from the table, quietly and orderly discussions, my cooking healthy, at-the-very-least three course meals, and all the chores being done in an orderly fashion according to the daily schedule. *blank, deluded stare* That lasted about 3 weeks.
I discovered homeschooling 2 children simultaneously wasn't exactly EASY. (Son #1 is in highschool now and I pay other people to teach him now!) In fact, it was VERY HARD. Different texts, different levels of learning, different STYLES of learning caused me to constantly shift my "daily schedule" until I found one that was acceptable. (Acceptable being used loosely here.) After a year of doing that, I discovered I was in all liklihood going nuts. I love my kids dearly, don't get me wrong. I think that what I'm doing is worthwhile and don't feel like a second class citizen because I'm a stay-at-home mom, but staying home every day, all day, with only my children for real conversation, makes me a lil nuts (to say the least). So, my hubby and I agreed that for me to continue doing this (and doing it right) I needed bi-annual "sanity breaks". Twice a year I get to go away by myself. I can go completely alone, or like this time, go to meet friends and hang out for 3 or 4 days. It's awesome, wonderful, blissful, and soooooo invigorating. I don't have to wake up when I dont' feel like it. I can take a nap when I feel like it. I can take a shower/bath as long as I want to. I can dawdle over getting ready/putting on make-up/getting dressed as long as I want to. "NO schedules" is the only rule.
With that said...I leave here in less than 24 hours! I have so much to do! My friend, Roxanne, and I have been looking so forward to this for so long...I can't quit grinning! Did I mention I have SO MUCH to do? And instead of doing it all, I'm sitting her blogging about it! LOL Typical me. Procrastinate. Oy! I have a hair appointment in an hour (cuz ya just can't "get away" with roots!), I need to pick up meds, pay bills, and oh yeah...PACK! LOL
Enjoy your week/weekend! I'll be back Sunday. Heh. Giggle. Grin.
Happy Trails~
Just rambling...
I used to feel like I was a pretty compassionate person. These days, I don't know...
I remember being a sensitive child. If an animal was hurt, or another child was upset, I was upset for them...I felt their pain. I had oodles and oodles of sympathy and compassion. That sensitive nature grew into trying to solve other people's problems as I got older. In fact, I wanted to be a psychologist "when I grew up" so I could help other people work out their problems. My friends used to come to me frequently for help sorting through things. I felt gifted. Even into adulthood, I was the one my friends came to when they had a problem or just needed to rant for a bit and needed a sympathetic ear. Then I changed.
Six years ago May 19, my world at the time, fell apart. My baby died. I know now, it wasn't the end of the world, and that LOTS of other people had survived what I was experiencing and went on to lead healthy, normal, wonderful lives. At the time, I didn't think I ever would. And while I have overcome and am doing a good job at surviving, something inside me died too. And I think what died was my compassionate nature. I have a hard time getting close to or feeling emotional toward any one or thing. Almost a year to the date of my pregnancy with Jacob, I got pregnant again. (I laugh now about being pregnant for 2 years and only having one baby. My brother calls me an elephant for that reason--elephants are pregnant 22 months. LOL)
I wasn't ready emotionally to open myself up to that, but...things happen. As a result of my emotional inability, I felt very strange during my pregnancy. In fact, it wasn't until my lil guy was almost a month old and we had a medical crisis with him that I finally felt REAL EMOTION for him. Almost losing him rocked my world. But it was a positive thing. It forced me to care about him...forced me to get off the fence about the whole thing. But that's his story. And this one is different.
I now, since Jacob's death, have an incredibly hard time FEELING. I still have that initial sensation most times, but it's like there is something inside me; an emotional "check" system that stops me from crossing over to true caring before it happens. It's really weird. I feel the pull, the tug. I feel the urge to hug someone or tell them how much I care or can sympathize/ empathize, but I stop myself short almost every time. It's a pain in my butt, though, and I am tired of feeling th is internal tug all the time. There are some people I will open myself up to and show that side of me, but they are a very few number; and it's rare.
I find myself at such a strange point. For the most part, I don't care. And that makes me sad. Then there are times when I wish so badly that I could just think of SOMETHING to say or do...instead I just stand there awkwardly and end up mumbling some platitude. Then I walk off kicking myself in the butt for my inability to help/comfort/speak. There aren't any real answers, and I know that.
But sometimes it just helps to write things down.
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